Two Frog Home

Our official spring ritual occurs when we change from flannel to linen sheets and has nothing to do with the calendar.  Despite bits of snow and night temperatures under 30, I decided today was the day to have that little ritual.  With the changing of the sheets also comes the changing of the quilt from:

The quilt I made from old t-shirts and scraps.  It’s a variety of fabrics, made warmer because the “batting” is from an old blanket I got at the thrift store.  This quilt is replaced with:

The treasure made by my grandma.  Each square was hand embroidered by her and hand-quilted.  The amazing thing to me about this quilt is that each block is quilted slightly different than the others to match the particular embroidered design.  It’s not a heavy as my quilt, but it is still incredibly warm because of the quilting.  My grandma’s love makes it seem warmer, too.

100 Things :: 11) I bring my lunch.

I almost called this one - I brown bag it.  However, I bring my lunches in beautiful, reusable handmade tote bags, not the disposable plain brown paper sacks.

I do bring my lunch to work everyday and I pack Jeff’s too.  We also pack our lunches when we go for hikes, scenic drives, various festivals, etc.  It just seems a better way to ensure our health and our frugal nature.   It also seems the most ethical way to keep disposable items from getting into landfills.

Our lunches are pretty standard - soups in winter, salads in summer.  We usually have some kind of fruit, fresh in season, home canned when not in season.  We pack wraps and sandwiches on occasion.  We don’t generally have leftovers for lunch, however; because we save those for dinner.  I like to include homemade bread, biscuits, muffins, etc when I can as well.

I like packing Jeff’s lunch too in that I find it a great way to connect with him in the middle of a hectic work day even when we aren’t eating a meal together.  Occasionally I tuck a little love note or treat in his bag too, just because.

I’m grateful for my little tote bag sitting in the office kitchen/break room because its an insurance policy of a little bit of home in my office.  It’s also a promise of a healthy nourishing break mid-day to just rejuvenate and in some small way reconnect with my love.

I’ve known for a long time, a very long time, that I don’t quite fit into most molds.  I don’t fit the standards for most “groups” people want to classify me in: 30something, gardener, environmentalist, hippie, professional, small business owner, Christian, etc. etc.  I never fit molds during those awkward teenage years, either, thankfully the angst of not quite fitting in, has alleviated over time.

I’m quite comfortable in my own skin and I am blessed with a small circle of very good friends and of course, there’s Jeff, who appreciate the me that I am.  Thankfully, these folks love me for my quirks and for the fact that I don’t fit most molds and can just be me.  Honestly, these same folks don’t fit any particular molds either which is probably why we all get along even in our vast differences.  Sadly most of us are scattered and time spent together is frightfully short.

However, no matter how comfortable I may be in my own skin, rejection does still hurt now and then.  Most of the time, I’m all too happy to accept people not liking my inability to fit my rather square self into round holes.  Honestly, I don’t want to be surrounded by people who can’t be tolerant and loving.  It’s just not my groove.  What does sting, a little, however; is when I think I may have met someone who I’d like to get to know better but something about me doesn’t fit into their idea of who I am or one ideal doesn’t quite match up and they dismiss me.  Whether its because I’m a Christian who isn’t a Republican (or a Democrat), or because I’m a 30something with no children, or because I don’t wear orange, etc.  it hurts when people pick one difference and disregard the many things we may have in common and decide that I’m not a person worth getting to know.  

For the most part, I believe I can be rather accepting and loving of folks and I try very hard to look for similiarities not differences so that I can create a warm community around me.  I know, I know, the world at large doesn’t behave that way and that is so sad.  My father would tell me here, that I need to leave the 100 hundred acre and Pooh behind.  For the record, he’s the one that taught me to walk to the beat of my own drummer, heaven knows he’s done it his whole life (thanks dad!).

So today, I’m a little downtrodden over what could have been, and I know that’s no way to spend my life either.  I’m also sad because I know that I’m such a homebody that I don’t always make a good friend, but it sucks when I don’t even get the chance to try.

In the end, though, I’m left wondering about building community.  Can I do it?  Can I build a community of folks who focus on similiarities and not differences and who act as a community members to each other?  What’s a girl to do? 

After a long day, I love coming home to a nice meal and my sweetie.  Who doesn’t?  However, cooking a nice meal after a long day, isn’t always my favorite thing to do.  I love to cook but sometimes I just want something to fill my stomach and fast.  A little planning and a well stocked pantry can be saviors on those nights.  Thankfully, my sweetie generally arrives home just a few minutes after me, so that part is a given.

Thanks to some planning and a well stocked pantry, our good meal was quick, filling, and healthy.  Yesterday, I made some food for the week ahead, including a big pot of soup and Cheddar, corn, & herb muffins for our lunches.  I also made some meatloaf muffins and cooked up some mexican rice that were perfect with a jar of green beans heated up for dinner.  I’m not a huge fan of the microwave, rarely use it in fact, but on nights like this one, it was perfect to reheat a quick hearty meal.  Dinner conversation was light and cheery.  After dinner, we took a quick trip to the library for new reads and now I’m settled into the recliner, with a heating pad trying to relax some back spasms getting ready to curl up with my latest book finds.

These are the moments when my body just relaxes into the joys of home.  These are also the moments when I realize, I’m getting older (a heating pad and a recliner, for pete’s sake).  Most importantly these are the moments when I just feel loved and safe because, in the end isn’t that what home is about?

100 Things #8 - I love to bake.

While that probably doesn’t come as a shock to anyone who looks through the photos on this blog, it is something that is very much ingrained into my genetic code.

I can remember baking with my grandmother from a very young age.  At Christmas time, I can remember, my Grandma rolling out & cutting the sugar dough into shapes and brushing them with the egg wash.  My sister and I would then decorate the cookies with colored sugar, sprinkles, raisins, chocolate chips, cherries, and more.  My dad’s was on oven duty during these baking sessions.  He would put the sheets in the oven and remove the cooked treats to wire racks to cool.  I fondly remember hearing my dad say things like, “oops this one broke or this one burned a little, I suppose I’ll have to eat it.”  I use my grandmother’s sugar cookie recipe to this day. 

It was my grandmother who taught me things like shifting flour and kneading bread dough.  Everytime I have a baking sesson, I feel my grandmother’s spirit right next to me as I sprinkle sugar onto cakes or pull crusty loaves out of the oven.  No doubt, because of my fond memories of baking as a child, I associate baking inherenty with love.  I do my best to shower that manifestation of love onto others.  I do love watching someone bite into something I’ve baked and see their eyes light up, and know that I did bring just a hint of love and my grandmother into their life.

Over the weekend, I was listening to an older Greg Brown album and was inspired.  The particular song that got me thinking was If You Don’t Get It at Home, if you’re not familiar with that particular song, the chorus is basically this, “if you don’t get it at home you’re going to go looking.”  “It” in the song is love.  I got to thinking about everything else we going looking for if we don’t find those things at home.

Think about it, as a society, everything we go looking for: nutrition, love, acceptance, faith, education, etc.  The list goes on and on, and we go looking for it in a variety of ways from shopping to drugs, from cults to sex, and everything in between.  I realize, many folks have homes that are full of unspeakable horrors and those inside have to look elsewhere to find what they need to fill up.  So, how I can help those folks?  How can I make sure those inside my home, get what they need and don’t go looking?

I know that Jeff and I both, find our home to be a refuge from the world.  It is a place of peace, comfort, and love not just for us, but also for everyone who comes visiting.  We strive to have a place that people enjoy being and I know that we’ve succeeded simply by the number of people who feel comfortable enjoying a meal and then taking a nap on our couch.  People feel comfortable to just drop by without calling first, I count these as blessings (most of the time), and am glad people think of us as great company and dependable friends.  Both Jeff and I love being at home, there simply is no other place we’d rather be most of the time, and even those times when we do want to be somewhere else, we quickly look forward to getting back home.  I feel pretty confident those people in my home, get their fill and won’t have to go looking elsewhere for it, however; I know that I must be vigilant in making sure to keep the home full of love and joy.

How can I help those folks who don’t get these things at home?  I’ve spent some time over the last few days thinking about this, in depth.  I do believe, that my primary responsibility and focus should be on my home, however; I’m not a hermit so I do have contact with lots of people.  I’m going to make it part of my focus, to bring home with me whenever I leave my home and go out into the world.  I can carry a welcoming, loving attitude with me at all times.  I can be sure to bring those manifestations of home to gatherings or as surprises and gifts, in the form of meals, bread, treats, offers of just idle chit chat, gardening help and more.  Can I help everyone?  No, I’m a realist.  Can I help stop a hurting soul from turning to drugs or some other harmful choice?  Maybe, I can’t and won’t underestimate the power and impact of a kind word or simply taking the time to care enough to listen.  I also believe that the sense of home can be very healing.

Maybe, just maybe, I can help others create a home that is a place of comfort and not one they have to leave to find what they need.  Maybe, just maybe, I can encourage people to make their home, theirs, and a place that is nutritious to their hearts, minds, and souls, even if they live there alone.  I’m an idealist and a dreamer to be sure, but I do believe I can make a difference, and it seems that home and homemaking (even if not in the most traditional “homemaking” sense) are becoming the callings of my life.  More than anything, I believe most people feel disconnected and alone these days, and if I can spread these feelings home, perhaps I can help people feel less alone and in turn spread that around a little more.

Last night I met with a few folks, I’d gotten to know through my last job.  It was a pleasant evening with lots of laughter and general conversation very relaxed at a restaurant on the shores of Whitefish Lake.  I had taken little bags full of thank you gifts in the form of espresso whoopie pies.  Its a new recipe and I figured they wouldn’t mind being taste-testers (I was right, they didn’t mind one bit).  They also gave me a little thank you gift in the form of some heavy duty hand garden tools, some awesome gardening gloves, and seeds (including some saved seeds from the gal’s garden).  Really, a gift that includes saved seeds from a local garden is the best gift a gardening gal can receive.  It was a grand night and I’m so glad that I’ve had the opportunity to work with these folks over the years and look forward to seeing how our paths continue to cross in the future.

Happy Easter! Besides the obvious gift of Christ’s resurrection, this weekend has been full of amazing gifts for me.

This morning, I made some sourdough pancakes in frog, bunny, and duck shapes as part of my Easter gift to Jeff.  I’m happy to say they turned out quite well.  Honestly, I can’t believe its taken me so long to embrace sourdough and all of its many possibilities.  I gave Jeff the sweet pancake shapes and I hate the “scraps” with some real maple syrup. 

Yesterday, I received the gift of a very good job offer.  Jeff and I took the day to think about it and after a small bit of negotiating, I accepted the offer today.  I start on April 1st.  I can admit, that at first I was hesitant, mainly because I’m enjoying not working so much.  However, at this stage of life, I need a good paying job so that we can continue working on our home/property ownership goals and dreams.  Those goals include as little debt as possible on that home as well and this job will only help us accomplish those goals sooner.  I’m excited about this new possibility, despite my initial hesitation.

Jeff cleaned out my car and it is sparkling (I had spilled some soil from potted plants I brought home from my old office)!  That was an unexpected but oh, so appreciated Easter gift.  He also took me to get a new iron.  My old Rowenta died, and considering the number of sewing projects I have going on, an iron is a necessity.  I got a new Black & Decker Digital Advantage, after reading several good reviews of the product.  It’s much better than my Rowenta (which was at least 8 years old), this model produces a ton of steam and quickly irons my most wrinkled cotton - the Rowenta took forever to do the same task. 

Happy Easter!

In the car last week, I stumbled across a parenting show on the radio.  Normally I would have turned it off rather immediately, because I’m not a parent, but something apparently caught my attention and I listened for a while.  The message was based on this idea that every day and everything you do as a parent has one of two effects either: 1) it strengthens your relationship with your child or 2) it weakens your relationship with your child. 

I thought on that for a while and decided to apply that principle to my life and goals in general.  If I think about that before making any decision, it’s actually quite powerful.  I’m going to try and focus on those questions when faced with any new opportunity or decision: Is it going to strengthen or weaken any of my goals or relationships?  If the answer isn’t a decided yes it will strengthen something, then I need to look at that very closely.  For the record, I don’t believe this means all work and no play, in fact, I believe its a stronger case for more fun/play because in doing so it strengthens my relationships with loved ones and God.

I think this idea behind strengthening and weakening also calls for action.  I have to do rather than think about or read about doing.  I need to keep my focus small, not read every journal in the blogosphere for ideas but rather put ideas into action and use that action to serve.  I need to be sure that in making decisions and taking actions to strengthen things that those things serve God, the goals Jeff and I have for our life, and my fellow human beings and the planet.  Every minute I spend reading about how someone else lives their life, keeps their home/garden, cooks, studies scripture, etc. and comparing myself to that is a minute I might waste.  I tend to spend too much time doing that - reading and surfing blogs instead of finding and applying the really good lessons to my life.  I’m learning that if I keep my focus small, read only the journals of folks I’ve gotten to know on some level or who have consistently inspired me, I’m much better prepared to do rather than read about doing. 

The interesting thing is that the smaller my focus, the larger my growth and joy.  Life can’t be joyous 100% of the time, that’s not reality, but if I can focus on God, my Jeff and other loved ones, and not focus on comparing my life with others, I can be content in my reality.  That contentment leads me to wanting more and looking for ways to protect that contentment and strengthen the ways I go about achieving my goals.  In the end, I have no doubt that stumbling upon that radio program was a bit of Divine intervention/inspiration, and for that I’m very grateful.

Yesterday I cut Jeff’s hair for the first time.  It was the first time, I’ve cut anyone’s hair as a matter of fact.  Jeff hates going to the barbershop and a few weeks back asked me to learn how to cut his hair.  I did watch some videos and read a book in hopes of learning how to do it without him having to wear a hat until it grew out.  (He does wear a hat to work, but still I was hoping the hat wouldn’t be a necessity from my bad cutting job.)

In the morning, I met a girlfriend for coffee (someone I don’t get together with nearly enough), after a while she asked about my plans for the day.  I told her about my haircutting plans.  She’s been a stay-at-home as long as I’ve known her, I didn’t really know what she had done previous to children in the way of employment.  She told me she used to be a hair dresser and was happy to come home with me and give a lesson if both Jeff and I were up to it!  I called Jeff from the cafe and explained the offer, he too was happy to have her come by and give me a lesson.

We set up a chair and mat in the kitchen and got to work.  I’m happy to say it went really well.  Having her explain it to me and show me piece by piece was so very wonderful!  It was so much better than reading the book or watching the video and she was such a great teacher.  Honestly, it went so much better because of her lesson.  Jeff is quite pleased with his haircut and I’m much more confident of my ability moving forward.  I’ve read plenty of frugal living books in my day and I know that haircutting is something mentioned often, now I can successfully apply that in our life.  I can’t possibly thank my friend enough but in an effort to try I made her some cinnamon raisin bread this morning to be delivered later.

My time with her before we came home was so uplifting as well.  She’s just such a sweet spirit and our conversation is always so God-centered that there’s no way I could come away feeling anything less than wonderful.  I really do need to make it a point to get together with her more often.