Two Frog Home

Our official spring ritual occurs when we change from flannel to linen sheets and has nothing to do with the calendar.  Despite bits of snow and night temperatures under 30, I decided today was the day to have that little ritual.  With the changing of the sheets also comes the changing of the quilt from:

The quilt I made from old t-shirts and scraps.  It’s a variety of fabrics, made warmer because the “batting” is from an old blanket I got at the thrift store.  This quilt is replaced with:

The treasure made by my grandma.  Each square was hand embroidered by her and hand-quilted.  The amazing thing to me about this quilt is that each block is quilted slightly different than the others to match the particular embroidered design.  It’s not a heavy as my quilt, but it is still incredibly warm because of the quilting.  My grandma’s love makes it seem warmer, too.

First, let me just say wow!  My apple spice cupcake post has garnered a lot of attention, the post was mentioned in a popular cupcake blog, and even garnered attention by WordPress (my blog host) in their food section.  I’m honored and a little overwhelmed.  I’m not used to getting so many visitors to this blog, thank you.

All the attention is a very uplifting thing, especially given the strange weather we’ve been having.  It’s snowing again today (after a weekend of snow and wind) and I’m tired of it.  I’m ready to start some serious planting.  However, perhaps the snow is saving me from planting in a garden where we won’t be in a few months.  There’s a potential house / property purchase in the works.  That’s all I’m going to say about that for now, I’m jaded by the whole real estate thing and I don’t want to get my hopes up too much.

Today has also been a good day because I had a wonderful massage.  Its amazing how good a body can feel after all that tension has been rubbed, pinched, and prodded out of a person’s muscles.  I adore my massage therapist too.  Her attitude and welcoming spirit is as uplifting to my soul as her massage therapy is to my body.  I love that when I get close to her office in the building she is in, I can smell all the aromatherapy oils, and as they waft their way up my nasal passages, the entire tone is set for a wonderful, relaxing, and uplifting experience.   I’m so thankful for these extravagances.  I believe a massage is so good for a healthy body, but I’m under no illusions that this is simply a luxury and I’m blessed to be able to have massages now and then.

• Thanks so much to everyone who responded to my not fitting in post, you all made me feel so loved.  I’m doing much better today and your virtual love and words certainly reached my heart.  I also realized that its not so much that I’m not a good friend its just my idea of friendship doesn’t include shopping trips to the mall or spa days but it does include me helping clean out chicken coops and going all out for homemade, gourmet birthday dinners.
• If you are a member of swapbot, I’ve started a homemade placemat swap.  Sign up, please, it should be fun.  If you’re not a member, maybe this could be a fun way to try it out.  It’s free and who doesn’t like getting packages in the mail?
• The Kitchen Gardeners Newsletter is full of great info this month.  Its a great read every month honestly, you should sign up for it.
• My seeds are sprouting in the indoor greenhouse and despite a forecast of weekend snow, I’m optimistic that soon we’ll have some springlike weather for more serious outdoor planting.

I’ve known for a long time, a very long time, that I don’t quite fit into most molds.  I don’t fit the standards for most “groups” people want to classify me in: 30something, gardener, environmentalist, hippie, professional, small business owner, Christian, etc. etc.  I never fit molds during those awkward teenage years, either, thankfully the angst of not quite fitting in, has alleviated over time.

I’m quite comfortable in my own skin and I am blessed with a small circle of very good friends and of course, there’s Jeff, who appreciate the me that I am.  Thankfully, these folks love me for my quirks and for the fact that I don’t fit most molds and can just be me.  Honestly, these same folks don’t fit any particular molds either which is probably why we all get along even in our vast differences.  Sadly most of us are scattered and time spent together is frightfully short.

However, no matter how comfortable I may be in my own skin, rejection does still hurt now and then.  Most of the time, I’m all too happy to accept people not liking my inability to fit my rather square self into round holes.  Honestly, I don’t want to be surrounded by people who can’t be tolerant and loving.  It’s just not my groove.  What does sting, a little, however; is when I think I may have met someone who I’d like to get to know better but something about me doesn’t fit into their idea of who I am or one ideal doesn’t quite match up and they dismiss me.  Whether its because I’m a Christian who isn’t a Republican (or a Democrat), or because I’m a 30something with no children, or because I don’t wear orange, etc.  it hurts when people pick one difference and disregard the many things we may have in common and decide that I’m not a person worth getting to know.  

For the most part, I believe I can be rather accepting and loving of folks and I try very hard to look for similiarities not differences so that I can create a warm community around me.  I know, I know, the world at large doesn’t behave that way and that is so sad.  My father would tell me here, that I need to leave the 100 hundred acre and Pooh behind.  For the record, he’s the one that taught me to walk to the beat of my own drummer, heaven knows he’s done it his whole life (thanks dad!).

So today, I’m a little downtrodden over what could have been, and I know that’s no way to spend my life either.  I’m also sad because I know that I’m such a homebody that I don’t always make a good friend, but it sucks when I don’t even get the chance to try.

In the end, though, I’m left wondering about building community.  Can I do it?  Can I build a community of folks who focus on similiarities and not differences and who act as a community members to each other?  What’s a girl to do? 

Jeff and I don’t eat out much.  Generally we feel its too expensive for so-so quality.  I like to cook and we both like to eat what I cook, so eating out isn’t something we do.  Yesterday, however, we did decide to eat lunch out.  This may have been our third meal out for 2008 and the first two were work related functions for one of us.

We hit the book sale as promised (it was a great disappointment - the first time I’ve said that in the 8 years I’ve been going).  On the way home, Jeff said we should stop at this new place called “The Pita Pit”, several of the guys he works with had been raving about it.  We figured it’d be a fun treat.  Jeff had the “Dagwood” pita which I think was a bit like a club sandwich and I had the Falafel.  I haven’t had falafel in a long time and was looking forward to it.  Since it was a treat we decided to have the combo which included a bag of chips and a drink, being a treat we ordered Cokes.  The total bill came to just under $16.00. 

Maybe that’s about standard for drive-thru, I don’t know, but it seemed a little steep to us.  The food was so-so, not a place we’d eat again, so the price seemed even higher.  However, worse than the price was how we felt the rest of the day.  Lethargic, at best.  We both felt drained and honestly hungry at the same time.  We were tired and both of us kept grazing the dried fruits and nuts in the pantry to fill up.

In the end, I think I learned that while eating out can be a treat and should be a treat.  We just have to be extremely choosy in where we decide to have those treats.  We need to pick places that have a good reputation for whole food ingredients and from scratch cooking.  We also need to avoid the Cokes no matter how much of a treat we’re having.  We don’t drink soda as a general rule, its not something we stock in our pantry and no doubt it was the sugar rush and inevitable crash that hurt us more than the rest of the so-so meal.

After a long day, I love coming home to a nice meal and my sweetie.  Who doesn’t?  However, cooking a nice meal after a long day, isn’t always my favorite thing to do.  I love to cook but sometimes I just want something to fill my stomach and fast.  A little planning and a well stocked pantry can be saviors on those nights.  Thankfully, my sweetie generally arrives home just a few minutes after me, so that part is a given.

Thanks to some planning and a well stocked pantry, our good meal was quick, filling, and healthy.  Yesterday, I made some food for the week ahead, including a big pot of soup and Cheddar, corn, & herb muffins for our lunches.  I also made some meatloaf muffins and cooked up some mexican rice that were perfect with a jar of green beans heated up for dinner.  I’m not a huge fan of the microwave, rarely use it in fact, but on nights like this one, it was perfect to reheat a quick hearty meal.  Dinner conversation was light and cheery.  After dinner, we took a quick trip to the library for new reads and now I’m settled into the recliner, with a heating pad trying to relax some back spasms getting ready to curl up with my latest book finds.

These are the moments when my body just relaxes into the joys of home.  These are also the moments when I realize, I’m getting older (a heating pad and a recliner, for pete’s sake).  Most importantly these are the moments when I just feel loved and safe because, in the end isn’t that what home is about?

Phelan over at A Homesteading Neophyte  gave me a perseverance award.  Thank you so much.  I saw your post earlier this week and was overwhelmed by it, it never ceases to amaze me how things happen in a Godly time.

I was feeling rather moody earlier this week.  Like anyone, with lots of dreams and goals, I get discouraged sometimes.  Sometimes I feel like everything is so far out of reach.  I begin to wonder if I can possibly accomplish everything I dream of, can Jeff and I make all those silly late night “pipe dreams” come true?  I try not to dwell on those thoughts, because I do believe the greater part of life is made up of my disposition not my circumstances.  I don’t write about those thoughts often either, not because I don’t have them, but because I sometimes fear that putting them down on paper, or the computer screen, somehow gives them more validity than if I just let them run their course in my mind, eventually I get tired of those thoughts and just move on.  Phelan’s award came at a time when I needed to remember that life does require a lot of perseverance sometimes.  Sometimes we just have to put our heads down, get to work, and suck it up. Is it always pleasant?  No.  Is it worth doing?  Absolutely.

In the words of Adrian Monk, “here’s the thing:” the best things in life seem to come by hard work in my opinion.  I’ve accomplished a ton, and want to accomplish a lot more.  However, no matter what, I’m incredibly blessed and if this is the best that life gets, so be it.  I’ve already got it much better than a good percentage of the world, and I know it.  Sometimes I need to be reminded that I am a very spoiled American woman who has been incredibly blessed and I shouldn’t take that for granted for one millisecond.

The good thing about not taking it for granted is that I can suck it up and persevere, because honestly, I’m good at that.  I’m not bragging, its true.  I know and have known for a long time, that no one is going to hand me my dreams, so while I may not make them all come true - I’ll die trying and I’ll persevere until I’m on my death bed, because I believe without that, I’m not really alive anyway.

Phelan passed the award onto 5 other bloggers and I’m going to do the same.  While many bloggers inspire me, just check out my 5 Friday Favorite posts, these 5 in particular have inspired me in their own perseverance at various times over the years:

• Tansy over at Dancing in a Field of Tansy
• Maria over at Dirt Under My Nails
• Deb over at Sand Creek Almanac
• Nickie over at Girl Gone Gardening
• Shannon over at Not So Virtual Homestead

Happy Easter! Besides the obvious gift of Christ’s resurrection, this weekend has been full of amazing gifts for me.

This morning, I made some sourdough pancakes in frog, bunny, and duck shapes as part of my Easter gift to Jeff.  I’m happy to say they turned out quite well.  Honestly, I can’t believe its taken me so long to embrace sourdough and all of its many possibilities.  I gave Jeff the sweet pancake shapes and I hate the “scraps” with some real maple syrup. 

Yesterday, I received the gift of a very good job offer.  Jeff and I took the day to think about it and after a small bit of negotiating, I accepted the offer today.  I start on April 1st.  I can admit, that at first I was hesitant, mainly because I’m enjoying not working so much.  However, at this stage of life, I need a good paying job so that we can continue working on our home/property ownership goals and dreams.  Those goals include as little debt as possible on that home as well and this job will only help us accomplish those goals sooner.  I’m excited about this new possibility, despite my initial hesitation.

Jeff cleaned out my car and it is sparkling (I had spilled some soil from potted plants I brought home from my old office)!  That was an unexpected but oh, so appreciated Easter gift.  He also took me to get a new iron.  My old Rowenta died, and considering the number of sewing projects I have going on, an iron is a necessity.  I got a new Black & Decker Digital Advantage, after reading several good reviews of the product.  It’s much better than my Rowenta (which was at least 8 years old), this model produces a ton of steam and quickly irons my most wrinkled cotton - the Rowenta took forever to do the same task. 

Happy Easter!

Ok so, it was after noon not after midnight, but the song’s been on my mind today.  Given that I’m on no particular schedule and that spring like weather is upon us, I’ve been taking afternoon walks everyday lately.  Today, I walked down to Harvest Health Shoppe to visit and pick up some needed items.  I hit the bulk spice shelves, first.  I had specific needs, but always take a moment to look at the spices and herbs in all their rich colors to make sure there isn’t something else I want to try, or something that just catches my eye.  The great thing about buying my herbs and spices this way, besides just supporting a locally owned business is that its way cheaper than buying them at the grocery store.  I save jars like crazy and have plenty to store these treasures without having to buy pre-filled jars for twice the price.

It was a cool but bright afternoon and I passed many other folks out walking around enjoying the sunshine and signs of impending spring.  I spotted these lovely beauties during my walk:

It is nice to know that winter is more or less over, and there’s a new season to enjoy.

Farewell flowers sent to me from a sub-contractor / partner agency I worked closely with for the last 5 years.

Today is my last day at my current job, the job I’ve had for more or less the last 6 years.  I’m actually employed through March 28th, but am using my 12 sick days to finish out the month.  I’ve had a few months to process the loss am now just ready for it to be over, and for the next step to begin.  I’m no longer angry, sad, or fearful.  I am just ready and excited.  Excited for what comes next and it seems I needed for this phase to be over to fully be ready for whatever does come next because nothing has been completely solidified yet, though there seems to be several possibilities on the horizon.  

I’ve had a few job interviews in the last few months and another scheduled for tomorrow.  I’ve been contacted by several folks interested in hiring me as an independent contractor to do some bookkeeping and personal assistant work.  It seems, I have nothing to fear.  While I always knew that on a rational level, I needed to see it and feel it on an emotional level and that took time.  My dear Jeff, as always, has been incredibly wonderful and supportive.  He’s had to remind me daily it seems, that we are in a good position right now - we’ve planned and saved for just this kind of event.  It’s sad how many times, he’s had to repeat it for me to truly accept it.  There have been a lot of great lessons in letting go, trusting, planning, and dreaming lately.

Oh the dreaming!  Jeff and I have been dreaming, scheming, and planning lately.  What else do we want to do?  Where else would we want to go?  What can we do?  What can’t we do?  It’s been a fun time of just talking and dreaming and letting wild ideas come flowing out of our hearts, minds, and mouths.  The intial fear of losing a job and income have been replaced with joyful free-thinking and old-fashioned excitement.   Good things are coming and while we don’t know what those good things are, we have no doubt that they are on the horizon.  No matter what comes, we’re ready.  We’re watching for signs, talking, dreaming, and preparing for that next door to open.

Of course, there’s no shortage of things to do, until that door opens.  Who has time to work, really?  There’s gardening, canning, sewing, cooking, loving, laughing, reading, and hugging to do.  Ok, in all seriousness, there are a multitude of chores to do and it seems my to do list doubles every day as I plan for some “free” time.  I’m ready for what comes next, but will make sure to take advantage of all the time I’m being given now.

I’m grateful for this opportunity and while its taken a few months for me to get to that point, I’m glad I’m here now.