I spend a lot of time thinking and writing, writing and thinking. Not just here but in numerous hand-written journals. It’s therapeutic and I’m a planner, it helps me organize thoughts and actions (ok more thoughts than actual actions as you’ll see). In those ways, I believe that thinking and by extension writing is a good thing. I imagine that’s true for many writers. I got to wondering though, about how much time I spend thinking versus how much time I spend living and actually doing.
I used to read a ton of self-help books, honestly hundreds of them. Until one day, when looking at my bookshelf, I realized, all I’m doing is reading about how others think life should be lived and not actually living. That day, I understood that I had to figure out what life was and how to deal with it in a way that best suited me. I’m not saying self-help books are bad, I’m just saying that for me, they were an impediment not an improvement to my living life, they became rather like an addiction. I simply don’t read them anymore, and I can say I’m happy (your mileage may of course vary). Though to some extent I may use blog reading to fill that void, though blog reading is carefully inserted into my search for community so as not too seem like the distraction that it is so much of the time.
I strive to live a simple life, I don’t for a second believe that simple is synonmous with easy, its just a concious decision to make simpler choices. Yet the mere fact that I choose to live this way and still have time to write, think, dream, read, and plan tells me that I’m still rather spoiled and that I do indeed, have it relatively easy. Especially when you consider that I don’t have to spend my time scrounging just to feed my family today, like a good percentage of the world (I’m blessed and I’m so very grateful for those blessings). I imagine my grandmothers would tell me that I’m spoiled to have so much free time on my hands and that I should use that time more wisely instead of so quietly walking around inside my head.
Yet, I have to wonder, when did life become about reading, writing, and analyzing? Shouldn’t life be about living, enjoying, loving, creativity, and yes, hard work? Shouldn’t life be lived, not drilled down until every aspect is examined under a microscope? Why am I spending so much time reading, thinking, and analzying instead of just living? I can honestly say its easier to read, write, and plan, its certainly safer – there’s little risk and rarely is there failure. Living isn’t safe – its scary and requires some risk in my experience. However, the rewards to living versus reading and writing are also so much greater.
I have made a lot of progress in my quest to live life to its fullest. I do spend a great deal of time in actively pursuing life, goals, and strengthening relationships with those I love. There’s room for improvement, of course. I’m a work in progress, which is good because having goals gives a person purpose.
All these thoughts of course, bring me the question: How can I work at creating some progress in this area? How can I spend less time reading, writing, and over analyzing in trade for a more well-lived life? Like anything it comes down to choices. I’ve decided to put myself on a bit of a strict schedule at least for a little while to see what happens. I’m thinking of it as a mental fast of sorts, with a schedule that will include:
- a time for blog reading and writing of course, but more limited than before, when it was simply whenever I had the urge and nothing pressing to do. The change to no writing on the weekends will help a great deal, too (the not dabbling posts will be done during the weekly alloted time and merely posted on Sundays.
- an alloted time for answering emails
- handwritten journals will still be rather free-form but those are pretty much limited to begin with
- more creative time will be scheduled, which should be easier when I’m not letting the world wide web distract me – I’m aiming for a minimum of 30 minutes of studio time a day
- I will not dwell or analyze decisions too heavily (big ones deserve careful consideration, the menu plan not so much)
- Finally, all those pipe dreams I spend so much time planning, I’m going to figure out how to put a few into action and cull the ones that aren’t feasible at this time.
I welcome your suggestions and/or thoughts as always.
PS: The paradox of this written and most likely over-analyzed post about living life does not escape me.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I started to panic, thinking you were going to stop this blog! Yikes.
Is the time spent online in blogging communities any different than the time spent with friends? OK, there’s the “not really present” aspect, but the relationships are still there. Would you consider saying “I want to spend less time with my friends” just as you did with the “I want to spend less time online”?
Just curious.
Meadowlark,
It’s an interesting question, however; I wasn’t speaking strictly of relationships but more about blog reading. I read a lot of blogs and have no relationship with that author (I read way more than I comment). I would have to say yes, that if push came to shove, I would say I would spend less time with my friends if it was getting in the way of my home life, my relationship/time with Jeff, and/or goals (which is most likely why I don’t have many friends).
To me nothing is more important than home, in fact I believe that to be a mandate by my Creator.
The few friends I do have, understand, and for the most part have the same beliefs which why we rarely get together.
Wow, reading that back it makes me sound cold, but that’s not the reality. I’m just very home-centric maybe hermit-like.
I got to thinking a bit more about my last comment – blog reading takes up a significant chunk of my time every single day. It’s very rare for me (and probably most folks, I think) to get together with friends every single day for an hour or more. That’s where the blogging community is different from in person friendships.
Blogging is also different in that I spend more time analyzing and comparing myself to other bloggers than I do my friends and that is where the problem lies, I think…
Ok, see how quickly I’ve turned into thinking and over analyzing.
Kathie, your blog today is thought provoking (making me analyze some things myself
)
I think whether it is reading blogs, writing, analyzing…I believe these things are all part of living life, not something separate.
I’ve been spending a lot of time blog reading too, and have had to finally set aside time limited time daily for just that…otherwise I could sit for hours and let it keep me from anything else. That said, it’s been a great source of learning and inspiration for me to follow the journeys of people with similar interests and circumstances as mine. It has definitely contributed to the way I’m living my life in good ways.
I think it’s all about balance, whatever it is. I know people that are constantly on the go, DOING, and never take the time to read, write and analyze, and I think they are missing out on a very large part of living life.
That balance thing. It’s really tough.
Kathie thanks for your thoughts and wisdom. They really make one stop and consider if how we are living our life is how we want it to be “on purpose” or are we living on auto-pilot. I so want to be present in my life and find balance that enchances that presence.
Great timing for this post, Kathie – just this morning whilst in the shower, the thought came to me that I spend too much time “inside my own head.” Partly, I think, because I live alone (and the cats spend a lot of their free time sleeping and are not open to conversation during those times – hah!) but I think it’s something I’ve always done but not paid much attention to.
I DON”T write, not in a journal, and not even too much on my blog – which I’ve been kind of ignoring lately. I’ve often wondered if I did actual journal writing if I would spend so much time ‘thinking.’
Is it the time of year? I’ve noticed how the mornings are a lot darker, the sun is not rising as early as it was a month ago. Fall is definitely coming, the garden is ripening – and it’s quite a bit cooler today.
Very good post to think about – thanks, Kathie.
Funny thing, I noticed the increasing darkness this morning on my way to work too.
I have been wondering something quite similar lately. I keep my laptop on the kitchen counter because the phone line in my “office” room isn’t working (a future “to-do”). I see that thing every time I pass throught the kitchen which is every couple of minutes. Out of habit I find myself logging on and reading blogs, checking for comments, looking up recipes and homesteading info, etc., etc., but you don’t see me actually cooking said recipes, weeding the garden, building something when I am doing the research. And, as you know, I get kind of sad and analytical, wondering if I have nothing to say to the world (like being in a party and everyone turns to hear what you say and then turns away and resumes a conversation without you kind-of-feeling). It’s ridiculous and 94.5% (made that up) of us probably are feeling the same way!
I think I may like having a schedule to stick to on the blogging thing. No random posts that are based on little else except, Oh, I’m lonely, let me go online…
You’ve given us all a bit to think about (LOL) and please keep us updated how having a schedule feels. That is a discipline I could really work on!
I cracked up on the PS!
Couple of things caught my eye:
The “comparing myself to other bloggers” part.
How so? Your voice seems so distinctly yours that I can’t imagine how you could ‘compare’ poorly. I can see comparing tomatoes or radishes, but that’s more of a “that lucky skunk already has ripe tomatoes” rather than “my garden is so much less {fill in the blank} than hers”.
Also, “Oh, I’m lonely, let me go online”. Um, that might be exactly WHY my blog is uninspiring. But the easy part about being a new blogger is that it really is only for me. I suppose if I ever have “fans”
then I’ll understand that part. But truly, I jot off ideas as they come to me and use it as a place to document what I’m doing so next year I can say “Whoa… my swiss chard ROCKS this year”!
Peace
Meadowlark you do have a fan (I was instantly pleased with your blog!) I actually think your blog is very inspiring! I loved the pictures of the jam making and the IDC updates are cool. I do know what you mean, though, I use my blog as a personal record of sorts too and I never kept writing journals so regularly. I meant the “lonely” part more as I think of reading other blogs as “hearing” other people’s voices on topics instead of just my own broken record thoughts! Somewhat like calling someone just to hear another voice (even if technically the “voice” is still my own mind reading the blogs!!)
I agree with you completely that Kathie has a very distinct all-her-own-voice here.
(Sorry to hi-jack your comments, Kathie!)
Kathie,
I hope you read comments on old posts.
Don’t discount the possibility that you are an introvert and your ‘living inside your head’ and blog reading are two ways that you recharge your social/extrovert batteries.
I had to learn to schedule time in for my three introverted children and their introverted father. We functioned better as a family when they got their ‘down times’.
(When the six of us were at a party and Dad and two kids were literally standing against the wall looking on, not talking to anyone, it was time to round us all up and go home.)
I so appreciate everyone’s comments, thoughts, and suggestions. Thank you!
I’ve been noticing the same thing about myself lately. Have you read “The 4 Hour Workweek”? My husband is reading it, and the author addresses this EXACT issue. According to Matt, the authr talks about how we don’t actually learn much from reading what other people do or say we should do. We learn best when we are actively pursuing our interests– ie, by DOING. I think I’ll read the book when Matt is done, but I am learning that it would be healthies for me to stop reading about other people and start doing things that make me feel calm, happy, and fulfilled.
This post of yours was very timely…I’m only now being able to read it because my life here beyond the computer has been so busy that computer time is lacking.
When I first got a computer years ago, I spent so much time on it out of sheer happiness to have so many resources and places in the world available…but it became imbalanced. I struggle with balance here because there are many times now that I feel I’m “getting behind” if I don’t make time to be here writing or reading.
I’ve dropped out of the computer world entirely before because I needed to roll with the timing and demands of life beyond it. At whatever point sharing ABOUT life begins to crowd out the life itself, it’s time for me to regroup. I only get one chance to live this life, and the writing about it is not the bigger reality. How to balance things? Not sure, but I don’t want to miss a moment with the ones only I can be a wife and mother to here in my world beyond the flat screen. I’ll never get a second chance for this moment with them.
This is some seriously good writing here. I totally agree with you about the self-help books because I went through a period of time when I bought into everything they were saying. It’s so freeing when one realizes the potential within one’s self. Made me realize…even I could write a self-help book. Ha! Anyway, great post!
A new reader here, dreaming of homesteading…
Thanks! I really needed to read something like that this morning!
I’m a thinker too, I need to examine my life as I go. I think it goes with being mindful of what I’m doing. I don’t spend a lot of time reading blogs. I get up early (4am) so I can spend time on my blog, and I read others only when I have spare time, which isn’t often. I think there would be a lot I could learn from other blogs and maybe I should allow some time in my day to read.
It’s good to see self-reflective posts such as this. Don’t stop writing, or thinking, and please be kind to yourself – if you enjoy reading blogs and it’s not impacting too much on your day, just do it.
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