Today has been a rollercoaster of a day.  We still haven’t heard if the seller’s bank has approved the contract, so while the house feels like its ours, it isn’t officially yet, no matter how good it all looks to everyone.  The day was full of swings from overjoyed to completely down in the dumps.  I’d think we were all clear then realize the house might not be ours in a month, oy it was terrible.  Then when I was at my most overwhelmed, saddest point of the day, the phone rang at work and it was my dear Jeff.  It never ceases to amaze me how just the sound of his voice can change everything for me.  He’s my best friend and my biggest earthly comfort and I’m so grateful. 

I kept thinking about how lucky I was, and I remembered this post from Simple Katie, originally posted on October 4, 2006.  It was a good reminder to bring it over here.  It’s also appropriate considering our 8 year anniversary is in just 12 days.

While talking with several single friends last week, “you’re so lucky,” was said to me. The luck being discussed was that I’m happily involved with Jeff and have been for some time now. While I agree I am lucky, it’s not only about luck there’s so much more to it in my opinion. I’ve been thinking about this luck and my life the last few days.

A great amount of luck had to fall into place for Jeff and I to meet; that is absolutely the truth. But really, in my opinion the luck ends there. Everything else has taken place because of love, commitment, dedication, and work. In the beginning, we both shared dreams, goals, things we didn’t want from life, past experiences, and so much more so that when we made the leap to commitment we knew what we could expect from a life together. That was honest work that built our love which led to our commitment.

The bond between us grew quickly and I was head over heels in love with him within 2 weeks. There was no denying my affection for him; I mailed him handmade cookies every week with love letters and much more. How could his love for me not grow, with those kinds of packages? It was very much a fairytale type love. A love that was all encompassing and wonderful. The kind of love that only allows you to think of the loved one and little else. The kind of love that leaves you in a constant glow and smile.

When we made the decision that I would move to Montana with him, we sold just about everything I owned and fit what we could in my car and drove back to Montana together (he’d flown into Pittsburgh). The fairytale love while it still exists can’t be maintained constantly at least in my experience. But the love we do have is better then that fairytale love because it’s backed by a deep commitment and dedication to each other and the life and lifestyle we share. It’s the commitment that makes our life real to me, it’s the commitment I crave because the commitment deepens my dedication and love to him as my soul mate.

Honestly, there have been times in the last 6 years when I’ve thought I don’t know that I’m cut out for this - I don’t know if I can be the woman he needs/wants, I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc. However, in those thoughts it’s has never crossed my mind that I would leave or that he would leave. That’s commitment and that’s love, unconditional, fairytale love. He puts up with me when I’m less than gracious. I put up with him when he’s cranky. It’s in those moments of realizing he’s not the prince on the white horse, and I’m not the grateful sleeping beauty, that love and commitment are born. It’s in those moments that a relationship is defined. It’s in those moments where you can define your partner’s truest self and your own. It’s in those moments that you decide how much you want/need/love your partner.

It’s easy to love when everything’s perfect or when you feel like it - it takes work, commitment, and dedication to act in a loving manner when he’s cranky or when you just want to be left alone. I can honestly say that my love for Jeff is stronger and better now then it was 6 years ago, it’s not that dreamy head in the clouds love, but it’s the realistic committed love that in my opinion is way better.

Am I lucky? Absolutely, but I’m also dedicated and willing to work hard for what I want. When I was single I wasn’t willing to settle either and neither was Jeff and because of that we both got what we wanted and in the end that was each other. Thankfully all that honesty in the beginning paid off; to something I don’t know how I could live without.