At some point last fall, I made the decision to withdraw from all of my volunteer activities and focus more of my attention, time, and love on home and the people in my life.  While, I like to think my loved ones were never robbed of any of my attention or affection, I can see now how much more of me is available by tightening up my focus.

I realize we’re only in the second month of 2008, but I can feel a real shift in my thinking and my attitude and my energy level for that matter.  I owe that in great part to the “cutting out of fat” from my time and energy.  The activities I was involved in were worthwhile, very much so, but the participation was weak and I was carrying more of a load than I expected.  I came to a point where I realized that if it wasn’t important enough for someone else to step up and help out - its not important and it had to be cut from my life.

I’ve spent these first weeks of 2008 changing my focus to God, home, and loved ones, denying any requests for my presence or time away from those.  It’s not easy for me to say no.  I had an email from one of the organizations and I said I would be happy to review plans via email and give my input but I would not attend any meetings.  They’ve stopped emailing me, and that’s fine.  If I can’t help on my terms, I’m not helping.  Is that selfish?  Maybe, but in the long run I want to know I made a difference mostly in my home and those people who are put in my path.  I can’t make that difference when I’m out trying to save my community when my community doesn’t think it needs saving.

I’m so much more content right now and I can attribute that to less distractions and more focus on what and whom I enjoy.  Focus on my own goals and not those of the organization I’m volunteering for - its not the right season in my life right now to focus on goals other than those that are important to my family.  I struggled with that for a while, I felt selfish and uncaring.  However, I’ve accepted that I can only give so much and I want to give that to what I value most.  That acceptance has given me so much freedom in spirit and mind and I’m so grateful.